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[English]如何才能健康的经营好婚姻呢?
hjx_221 发表于 2012/3/1 16:41:55

如何才能健康的经营好婚姻呢?"A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love" - Pearl S. Buck Look for the good 看到对方好的一面When you fell in love you only see the good in your partner. You were not [w]selfish[/w]. To keep your love alive, accept him for what he is just like when you were infatuated. Love him for what he is instead of thinking only of your needs.Don't over react to his negative behavior and weaknesses. Learn to forgive and get rid of grudges. Allow your partner the freedom to be the way he is completely and unconditionally.当你沐浴在爱中时,你只能看到对方好的一面。你一点儿也不自私。当你被爱冲昏头脑时,你为了维持爱会接受对方的一切。当一切归于平静,请要爱他原来的样子,而不是你想要对方成为的样子。不要对于对方不好的行为或者弱点有过激的反应。学会体谅和原谅,不要有怨意。给你的另一半自由去完全的做自己。 Communicate 沟通Talk and listen but avoid [w=nag]nagging[/w]. Never let a day pass without discussing and communicating. Share your problems with him and tell him yours. Talk about dreams, goals and love. Don't bring your anger to the next day. Resolve it or forget about it.沟通倾听,不要碎碎念。不能一天不沟通交流。与对方分享自己的困扰。分享自己的梦想、目标、爱与喜好。不要把气带到第二天。解决你的怒气,或者忘了它。 Let go of [w]psychological[/w] dependency and expecting approval 不要过度依赖对方Any relationship succeeds when there is [w]interdependence[/w]. You must take responsibility for yourself. Avoid making your partner the source of your happiness. You are moments away from depression if you depend on your partner's words and actions to live your life.成功的两性关系是建立在互相依赖上的。你要对自己负责。不要让你的另一半成为你幸福的唯一来源。如果你一切的生活都建立在对方的话或者行为上,那么你就离抑郁不远了。 Avoid trying to be right 不要以为力求自己是对的When you try to be right you are trying to have control. Your marriage will [w]suffer[/w]. You will hurt yourself and your husband. A demanding relationship will not survive for long. Focus instead on what needs improvement and work on it. The best thing to do is work on you.当你一味追求自己是对的,那么你就是在试图控制对方。你的婚姻会受到影响。你会让自己以及对方受到伤害。一段过于苛刻的婚姻无法长久。更专注在你们之间需要改进的地方,试图有所改变。最好的办法是从自己下手,找到自己的问题在哪儿,改掉不好的地方。 Ask for what you want 告知对方你想要什么,你的感受Know your feelings. Be honest with what you want. Your partner cannot read your mind. Ask for what you want without using threats and [w=manipulation]manipulations[/w].Let him know of how you feel. Learn to say "No" to something you don't want to do or give. Obligation can cause problems in your relationship.知道自己的感受,知道自己要什么。对自己想要的东西诚实。你的另一半不会读心术。告诉对方你要什么,但不要用威胁的方式。告诉对方你的感受和想法。对于你不想要做或者给的东西学会说“不”。所谓的义务会给你们的关系造成问题。 Build trust 互相信任Trust is an important [w]component[/w]. [w]Trust[/w] that he loves you and is [w]honest[/w]. Don't [w]snoop[/w] or [w]spy[/w] on him. Avoid feeling [w]doubtful[/w] and [w]jealous[/w]. When you behave this way, your spouse will feel [w=suffocate]suffocated[/w]. And it shows that you have low self [w]esteem[/w].信任是非常重要的一个因素。相信对方是真的爱你的,对方也是诚实的。不要暗中监视或者调查对方。避免质疑或者嫉妒的心理。当你一直疑神疑鬼时,你的另一半会感到窒息。而且这样你也就自我贬值了。 Respect 学会尊重Have self [w]respect[/w] and your [w]spouse[/w] will treat you right. Listen when he's talking and he will do the same. Don't [w]embarrass[/w] him or [w]criticize[/w] him in the [w]presence[/w] of others and he won't do it to you. If he does, tell him that you don't like it.有自尊,对方也会尊重你。当对方在说话时,学会倾听。这样但你说话时,对方也会听。不要在其他人面前让他丢脸或者跟他抬杠,这样他也不会这样。如果他这么做了,告诉他你不喜欢这样被对待! Create space 要有自己的空间 Though you are married, live together and share almost everything, allow for personal space for each one at home and outside. You should have your own group of friends that you don't have to share with him and allow him to do the same.虽然你们已经结婚了,你们住在一起,几乎分享所有的事物。但是无论在家里还是在外面,仍要给对方也给自己一点私人空间。你要有自己的朋友,这些朋友也许你不必全部与他分享。同样也允许他有自己的朋友。 Being successful is a journey, not a destination.成功的意义在于不断前行,而不是到达终点。What you do every day matters more than what you do every once in a while.每天持之以恒地做事比三天打鱼两天晒网重要得多。Kindness and hard work together will always carry you farther than intelligence.比起天资聪颖,友爱仁慈和努力工作总是会带你走得更远。We all have different strengths. What worked for someone else might not work for you.众人皆有所长,对他人有用的不一定对你有用。Having a plan, even a flawed one at first, is better than no plan at all.制定计划,即使最初的计划有缺陷,也比没有任何计划要好。Confusion isn’t a bad thing. It means you’re growing and thinking.困惑不是一件坏事,它说明你正在成长、正在思考。Some circumstances are uncontrollable, but we can always decide how we react to those circumstances.有些事情我们无法掌控,但如何去应对是我们可以决定的。Whenever somebody doubts you, and tells you that you can’t do something, keep in mind that they are speaking from within the boundaries of their own limitations.当别人质疑你的能力,说你不可能办到的时候,请记住,他们只是在以他们自己的能力来衡量你。

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